Another Year...and Counting

Most people celebrate their birthday with some sort of recognition and hoopla.  I on the other hand, celebrate my "cancerversary."  Birthdays as a cancer survivor are important to me, but it's the cancerversary that lends a different meaning to the word celebrate.  Today, my birthday has the meaning of 1 more year that I didn't think I'd be around for.  My cancerversary is acknowledging the fact that on this date, I underwent more that 8 hours of surgery to remove a cancerous tumor from my breast, and survived.

When I mentioned to my family that  today, 6 years ago, was the day I had surgery to remove the tumor that so thoughtfully *insert sarcasm* invaded my breast, they look somewhat perplexed.  As to wonder "why on earth I would want to think of this day, much less call it a cancerversary?"  Well, to me, it's a given.  It was a new lease on my life.  That's it.  Short, bittersweet, simple, basic. 

So, in keeping with my celebratory mood today, I believe I will treat myself to a glass of wine, and maybe have a slice of cake...and sing to myself;  Happy Cancerversary To Me!

                                                                    

Cancer Is For The Birds!

Each year in February,  my sister co-chairs a golf tournament to benefit a cancer organization where she lives in Naples, Florida.  This year, her ladies golf group chose the Cancer Alliance of Naples, or CAN for short.  CAN is a grassroots, volunteer driven organization that provides assistance to cancer patients and their families in the form of financial assistance, information resources and links to services and support groups in the community.

Their theme...."Cancer Is For The Birds" kicked off the day with flamingos around the greens instead of the traditional golf flags and golf carts took on the appearance of a "boobmobile" with a sign that said "Save the TaTas--Big or Small, We Love Them All."

A beautiful Florida day gave way to a group of dedicated golfers that raised more than $7,000 so that CAN may continue to give the much needed assistance to cancer patients and their families of Southern Florida.  

Please visit the Cancer Alliance of Naples website at  www.cancerallianceofnaples.com/index.html

Boobies, Bracelets and Ten Year Olds

The other day, I noticed my 10 year old grandson wearing an I "heart" boobies bracelet.  I know there has been a lot of discussion about kids wearing these bracelets in school and whether or not they understand the meaning behind these bracelets.
When I was diagnosed with breast cancer Austin was only 5.  Too young I felt to fully comprehend why I had lost my hair, why I was so tired and why I was always going to the doctor.  I guess I tried to shelter him from all that the big bad "C" had to offer to an individual as well as a family.  I've never spoke to him about that time in my life, until recent.

This bracelet he was wearing opened the door for this such discussion with a very smart ten year old.

So we sat, Nonna to grandson and talking very "matter of fact".  His knowledge of breasts and cancer utterly amazed me.  I was pretty frank in questioning him about why he wore this bracelet.   After all, if he was going to wear one, he needed to understand the significance of it and not just because his friends were wearing one.  His responses were almost adult like.  He explained to me that these bracelets represent breast cancer and awareness and "people should wear these to show their support."  He also acknowledged that "a woman's breasts can get cancer and that's not good for her and some women die from breast cancer."  
With that, he told me he remembered when I was "sick" with cancer and that I had no hair and wore hats all the time.  He wanted me to know that he told his friends that I had breast cancer but not anymore and that I'm better now.  Yes Austin, I am all better now.

My dear grandson, you have taught me something very important; never to underestimate the understanding that a ten year old has of cancer and the meaning of his I love boobies bracelet. 
May you wear your bracelet with pride and in good health my love....

A New Year, A New Name, A New Beginning

There's one thing about living in Chicago that you begin to think about this time of year...Spring.  In comes January and along with it, it brings the bitter cold, short days and long nights.  We Chicagoans look forward to the crocuses peaking up from the snowy ground.  Then, we're on the look out for the first robin signaling that we've rounded that winter corner and now headed towards longer days and brighter sunlight. Ahhhh, a new beginning.

A fresh new beginning and, a fresh new name of the breast cancer support group at our local hospital. We will no longer have the title of a support group, but a Survive and Thrive group.  Much more fitting for some of todays cancer patients that go on to lead and live a long life.  Leading by example to those still in treatment that there is life after cancer.  Showing them the ropes.  Talking about what's important to them in todays world as a cancer survivor.  Maybe it will be their hopes, their dreams or their new found passion, but one thing the "newbies" of  survivorland will experience with this group; a new program, a new location and a fresh new start on their brand new life. 

Cancer-It Comes In All Kinds...

I guess you could say that I've had a pretty good assortment on the different types of cancer in my family.  Lets see, besides breast cancer, we've had leukemia, bone, ovarian and lung cancers...x's 3 on the latter type.  Right now I have a 54 yr. old cousin battling this dreaded and ugly beast termed SCLC or as it's commonly called... small cell lung cancer.  I lost my mother as well as her mom to lung cancer. 

Now, being that I am a cancer survivor,  I remember the feelings that some may go through when diagnosed as well as the truly crappy feeling that over comes you while going through the malady of treatments.  I can also be very empathetic, but one thing I can't understand is the feeling you have when you're told by your doctors that in order to even try to get an extended lease on life, you need to travel 1,000 miles from your home and go to the Mayo Clinic in Arizona. 

That is exactly where my cousin and his wife are traveling to today. 

They're traveling in hopes that the doctors at the Mayo Clinic will have better options, treatments and maybe give to him just a little more time.  A little more time to spend with his grandchildren and hold his newest grandson.  A little more time to spend with his wife, now that the kids are all grown up and gone.
But there's one thing my cousin is.  He's a realist.  He knows how sick he is.  He knows that this maybe a long shot.  But he knows he must try.  Because everyday researchers and scientists are discovering new drugs so that people with that dreaded beast can maybe have an extended lease on life. 
Just like the one I was given....
To my cousin....you are in my thoughts, my prayers, and in my heart...

I love you cuz....

Hey, I didn't sign up for this!!

Ironically that was one of the emotions I felt when I was told that the lump I found in my left breast was indeed cancer.  This couldn't be happening.  I was only 42 and recently started a new job and we had just signed the papers on purchasing a brand new town home.  My life was going along as planned, then WHAM I felt like I was sucker punched. 
Now, you would think it wouldn't be so surprising since there's a relatively strong history of breast cancer in my family, 4 women not including myself...2 cousins, my mother, my paternal aunt and my sister who endured poly cystic breast disease.  But even when I found the lump, (accidentally while at work), I dismissed it to a possible injury-after all, breast cancer lumps don't hurt....right? 

After weeks of procrastinating and believing it really was nothing, I went to my doctor.  He, unsuccessfully attempted to perform a needle core biopsy.  After 2 unsuccessful attempts to extrapolate any type of fluid, he sent me to a breast surgeon.  Once again there was another attempt of a needle core biopsy.  This time the breast surgeon was able to obtain a small amount of fluid from the lump-enough to send off to pathology. Little did I know that two days later the path of my life would be forever changed.

I chose to have a bi-lateral mastectomy followed by reconstructive surgery that would be done at a later time.  The surgeon laid all of my options out on the table and in no way steered me to one over the other.  In my mind, I knew that the mastectomy would be the more "favorable" route for me.  Initially, my decision was to have the breast removed that had the lump. I phoned my surgeon to tell him of my decision and explained to him that I could only jump one hurdle at a time.  With that he replied "this is your 1 hurdle, if you're going to jump it, jump it big."  Needless to say after much contemplating and trying to wrap my mind around making what I felt was the right decision, I elected for the bi-lateral mastectomy.  The next few weeks were a whirlwind of activity preparing for the surgery, meeting with doctors and overall a malady of tests.  The tumor that was removed was 9cm and termed "triple negative" with no lymph node involvement. 

After 6 weeks of recuperating from the surgery, I started 6 rounds of chemotherapy.  Wow...I really had no clue how much fun I would have during that!  A few small set backs (bronchitis and low blood counts) but I finally finished all 6 treatments 5 months later. 

Now, my life has taken a different turn.  It's not that I want to forget about my experience, but rather learn from it, try to understand it and help others learn to navigate through their experience.  I have always heard that some people look at things and life for that matter differently after a traumatic situation, but it took me almost 3 years to really figure mine out.  Each one of my doctors played an important role in my being here today. 
                                           Cast of Characters: 
The Breast Cancer Surgeon...Saved my life by removing the cancer
The Oncologist...Gave me an extended lease on life by "getting all of those little sucker cancer cells that may have lingered"
The Plastic Surgeon...Helped me in keeping my sanity so that I can feel like a whole person again with new breasts

And in a perfect world, cancer would be null and void so that no one would every have to experience being bald, nauseous or worse yet....scared.

Turning your dream and passion into a reality

More then once I've often wonder what it would be like to really follow your dreams and just...go for it.  You know what I'm talking about.  The burning vision that's deep down inside of you.  Something that you've been longing to accomplish in your life.  Well, I've been having those thoughts, actually it's more like a constant obsession.  That's good and not good.  It seems to disrupt my work day, at my now job.  It also tends to creep up on me even in the evening, reading others blogs that I follow-or even when I'm on Facebook, reading status updates generally from one of my grown kids. 

I'm going to call it a club, for simplicity sake.  It's a special club and the pre-requisite to be a member is that you've survived...survived cancer.  That club that I'm envisioning is a place where cancer survivors can go.  Almost like a "safe haven."  A place where they could learn about nutrition and what foods their body needs after they've finished cancer treatments.  A place that has exercise programs designed especially for a body that's recovering from (what can be termed) brutal cancer treatments.  A place where they can mingle over a cup of herbal tea, talking to that new found friend on what life is like now that the doctors appointments are no longer a weekly chore. 

Those that have endured a cancer diagnosis knows first hand what goes on.  You're at a malady of doctors what seems to be every other day.  You're usually surrounded with information forth coming from one of the doctors, nurses or technicians.  You're given literature to read and study.  Some doctors will give you a special binder to keep all of your blood work and other lab tests in.  Now, don't get me wrong.  This is all wonderful as well as important.  After all, that's the point where you're in the fight for you life.  But then, by the grace of God along with some wonderful doctors, you survive.  You've made it!  You then come to the point of realizing, I'm a SURVIVOR!  I did it, now what? 

That's where this special place comes in to play. 

Where I live, we do not have this special place for survivors.  Yes, there's the support groups and such, and some excellent cancer wellness centers not too far from here.  But nothing locally in my home town-yet.  You see, it's in the infancy stage currently. 
There's 2 very special people that have this same vision as I have. 
And come hell or high water, we're going to make that special place for all cancer survivors to come and visit, get strong, and learn-learn how to live again.

Susan G. Komen for The Cure....Chicago Style!

Since this is my first blog, I'm going to write about something that is very near and dear to me...finding the cause and the cure for cancer...Yeah I know, something that's been going on what seems like forever in this country.  But something kind of opened my eyes this past weekend here in Chicago - watching 1600 women and men walk, sweat and endure heat and humidity that was beyond belief to find just that...a cure.  My niece Samantha was one of those that walked.  This was her first walk and what a walk she picked!  3 days 60 miles - all because she wanted to honor me and what I endured 5 years ago.  Now, I know a lot of people out there are familiar with the Komen walk for the cure, but do you really know what these people do to get to the point to walk?  They train, they hold fund raisers, and train some more.  Some put their body through hell!  I have never seen so many taped up knees, ankles and calves...but something I also noticed...no one complained!  Not one. They limped and hobbled with blisters and muscle strains, but still kept on going because they were determined to finish all 60 miles and to reach that final goal, to be able to say with pride "I did it, I finished it" just a like a person who finished their last chemo or radiation treatment.  
I went to a cheering station on the second day of the walk, The Pair Tree in Arlington Heights. As I stood there and cheered, chanted and claped for those walkers, (some of which were exhausted beyond belief!) I noticed something, they kept going, and going and going all while smiling.  Why?  Because they believed that with every step they took, they were making a difference.  You know something?  They were and they did just that!  My admiration and respect for the people that walked including Samantha, couldn't be any more profound than what it was this past weekend.  They walked for a mother, an aunt, a sister, or even themself.  But one thing is for certain...they all walked to one day find the cause and cure for breast cancer, and with that, I give each and everyone of them - my thanks.