Hey, I didn't sign up for this!!

Ironically that was one of the emotions I felt when I was told that the lump I found in my left breast was indeed cancer.  This couldn't be happening.  I was only 42 and recently started a new job and we had just signed the papers on purchasing a brand new town home.  My life was going along as planned, then WHAM I felt like I was sucker punched. 
Now, you would think it wouldn't be so surprising since there's a relatively strong history of breast cancer in my family, 4 women not including myself...2 cousins, my mother, my paternal aunt and my sister who endured poly cystic breast disease.  But even when I found the lump, (accidentally while at work), I dismissed it to a possible injury-after all, breast cancer lumps don't hurt....right? 

After weeks of procrastinating and believing it really was nothing, I went to my doctor.  He, unsuccessfully attempted to perform a needle core biopsy.  After 2 unsuccessful attempts to extrapolate any type of fluid, he sent me to a breast surgeon.  Once again there was another attempt of a needle core biopsy.  This time the breast surgeon was able to obtain a small amount of fluid from the lump-enough to send off to pathology. Little did I know that two days later the path of my life would be forever changed.

I chose to have a bi-lateral mastectomy followed by reconstructive surgery that would be done at a later time.  The surgeon laid all of my options out on the table and in no way steered me to one over the other.  In my mind, I knew that the mastectomy would be the more "favorable" route for me.  Initially, my decision was to have the breast removed that had the lump. I phoned my surgeon to tell him of my decision and explained to him that I could only jump one hurdle at a time.  With that he replied "this is your 1 hurdle, if you're going to jump it, jump it big."  Needless to say after much contemplating and trying to wrap my mind around making what I felt was the right decision, I elected for the bi-lateral mastectomy.  The next few weeks were a whirlwind of activity preparing for the surgery, meeting with doctors and overall a malady of tests.  The tumor that was removed was 9cm and termed "triple negative" with no lymph node involvement. 

After 6 weeks of recuperating from the surgery, I started 6 rounds of chemotherapy.  Wow...I really had no clue how much fun I would have during that!  A few small set backs (bronchitis and low blood counts) but I finally finished all 6 treatments 5 months later. 

Now, my life has taken a different turn.  It's not that I want to forget about my experience, but rather learn from it, try to understand it and help others learn to navigate through their experience.  I have always heard that some people look at things and life for that matter differently after a traumatic situation, but it took me almost 3 years to really figure mine out.  Each one of my doctors played an important role in my being here today. 
                                           Cast of Characters: 
The Breast Cancer Surgeon...Saved my life by removing the cancer
The Oncologist...Gave me an extended lease on life by "getting all of those little sucker cancer cells that may have lingered"
The Plastic Surgeon...Helped me in keeping my sanity so that I can feel like a whole person again with new breasts

And in a perfect world, cancer would be null and void so that no one would every have to experience being bald, nauseous or worse yet....scared.

Indian Summer in Chicago

For those of you that are familiar with the Midwest, you know about Indian Summer.  Indian Summer is that wonderful time of year that signals that summer is officially over and winter is right around the corner.  It's our last chance before the snow flies to open our doors and windows and welcome the beautiful, sweet smell of leaves and the warm sun permiate a room. 

I've always relished this time of year in the Midwest.  It's almost like the Fourth of July with the leaves showing their true warm colors of rust and amber.  Colors that are so magnificent and striking, it almost seems as if the trees are showing off.
It's also the time of shorter days, fires in the fireplace, Halloween and football.
With Halloween right around the corner, the neighborhood is getting a rather lively or shall I say  spooky look to it.  The kids are excited to pick out their costumes in anticipation of that oh so fun night to get as much candy as possible.  Pumpkin farms, apple cider and hikes through the woods to pay hommage to this time of year before everything goes to sleep for a long winters nap.

And tomorrow, I will be doing just that.  I will be going to a quant town to enjoy those trees that will be showing off their colors and saying "look at me"...because in a few short weeks, that snow will be flying here in Chicago...

Turning your dream and passion into a reality

More then once I've often wonder what it would be like to really follow your dreams and just...go for it.  You know what I'm talking about.  The burning vision that's deep down inside of you.  Something that you've been longing to accomplish in your life.  Well, I've been having those thoughts, actually it's more like a constant obsession.  That's good and not good.  It seems to disrupt my work day, at my now job.  It also tends to creep up on me even in the evening, reading others blogs that I follow-or even when I'm on Facebook, reading status updates generally from one of my grown kids. 

I'm going to call it a club, for simplicity sake.  It's a special club and the pre-requisite to be a member is that you've survived...survived cancer.  That club that I'm envisioning is a place where cancer survivors can go.  Almost like a "safe haven."  A place where they could learn about nutrition and what foods their body needs after they've finished cancer treatments.  A place that has exercise programs designed especially for a body that's recovering from (what can be termed) brutal cancer treatments.  A place where they can mingle over a cup of herbal tea, talking to that new found friend on what life is like now that the doctors appointments are no longer a weekly chore. 

Those that have endured a cancer diagnosis knows first hand what goes on.  You're at a malady of doctors what seems to be every other day.  You're usually surrounded with information forth coming from one of the doctors, nurses or technicians.  You're given literature to read and study.  Some doctors will give you a special binder to keep all of your blood work and other lab tests in.  Now, don't get me wrong.  This is all wonderful as well as important.  After all, that's the point where you're in the fight for you life.  But then, by the grace of God along with some wonderful doctors, you survive.  You've made it!  You then come to the point of realizing, I'm a SURVIVOR!  I did it, now what? 

That's where this special place comes in to play. 

Where I live, we do not have this special place for survivors.  Yes, there's the support groups and such, and some excellent cancer wellness centers not too far from here.  But nothing locally in my home town-yet.  You see, it's in the infancy stage currently. 
There's 2 very special people that have this same vision as I have. 
And come hell or high water, we're going to make that special place for all cancer survivors to come and visit, get strong, and learn-learn how to live again.